Cursed by the Lack of the Ocean 

 Hair surrounds my world of vision under a slavery sky
I tip toe in fear, only to remember I'm no longer a child
I was once bound by the womb of a religious sheath
phantom ghosts and vicious words, I was buried beneath
luxurious now are the waves and the weather
 connected so humbly and melted together
In a undeniably twisted fate I became the earth's daughter
the feeling on my skin I became the water
I beautifully flow the way the seaweed sings
no onlookers now I only have my makeshift wings
I breathe in only the sensation I sense in my bones
I have to close my eyes because the rush inside bellows
-and the beauty felt has become more intense than the beauty seen 

Oh, For I am Grateful

Oh, I am so grateful that when you put in the unfaltering effort that the life you seek unfolds for you. The more I research the mind to be happy and fill my thoughts with hope, the more it turns out, as if it were uncovered and shown to me. 

I'm happy to be choosing happiness instead of waiting for it. Its everywhere.

I'm thankful for the people I choose to fill my earthly body's home with. The people and beautiful circumstance in my universe, and to honestly believe that our inevitable course of outcome is to be the product of a great masterpiece we've chosen to accept. That we will remain vessels to the connection in our hearts.

I'm thankful to no longer fear that of which does not effect me in the present and to have the never regretful courage to speak my mind whole heartily and with full focused wisdom that I have had harbored in my soul since birth.

I am lucky to have physical and mental strength. I have the potential to progress in both of these fields and build toward my future when I do so.

I'm happy to carry on only the memories that make me smile, or that enhance the current life I lead. I no longer question my mind's eye, but embrace it as a monumental life and spirit. I do not look for answers that bring me down. I rejoice in the wondrous images of happiness that I once knew, continue to know and hope to find each moment of my coherence. 

I am excited for tomorrow, for I no longer wallow in grief, but celebrate my gifts; my home, my friends, my surroundings, my abilities, my LIFE.

Chandra Nicole Engstrom

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2012

1:23 am

This is to be read and remembered daily. It is to be seen in a different light each encounter, as my external life changes, as if recognized for the first time.